Once upon a time there was a little girl whose parents told her that she could be or do anything she wanted. They sang her songs with lyrics like, “When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you. ”.
Then she grew up and went to school, and quickly learned that the world is not so kind to little girls who talk too much. She was quickly labeled too loud, too bossy, too bold, too much. So she adapted. She got quiet. By the time she got to high school, she was mostly invisible to her peers. She forgot how to be bold. She had lost her voice, and her ability to speak up for herself and others.
You’ve probably guessed by now that this little girl was me.
When we are conditioned for years to believe that our voice doesn’t have value and that we are “too much”, it’s hard to overcome that. As a teen, I would take on the roles and personalities of other people to gain confidence. I would see someone I admired and I would model myself to become like them: talking like them, dressing like them, and mirroring their interests. While this wasn’t inherently bad, I had to learn that who I was, was enough. It took me many years to recognize that, and to gain confidence in my ability to use my voice for good,
This lil’ guy found his voice – have you?
When I began my career in voice-over I quickly discovered that I had found a passion that was the perfect way to use that voice that I had worked so hard to cultivate.
And yet I didn’t.
I mimicked the sounds I heard around me, much like my teen self trying out different personalities. I got good at listening to what sound was trending, and what type of voice was selling. I kept a file of “inspiration” videos with great voice-overs, and I would listen to them right before recording, and try to follow their cadence and patterns.
I took classes to learn the right “formula” and I was successful on paper -but it wasn’t me. It was a carefully crafted almost robotic version of myself. I precisely chose which words to emphasize, inserted artistic pauses for effect, and edited out every breath. It was “perfect”, and honestly, I did pretty well – I booked work consistently and kept a steady stream of clients.
Then I took a class with an amazing coach – Debra Sperling’s “Authenticity in Voiceover” – and it changed me. She told me to throw out the formulas. She coached me to a place where I stripped away all the things that weren’t me. I was enough all by myself. It was a beautiful moment. I can’t really explain it, and I would never try to. Her process is a priceless experience that every voice actor should have for themselves.
That was a turning point for me: realizing that who I am is enough, and that my own unique sound was enough.
So I started exploring who I am. What makes me, ME. I stopped trying to sound like everyone else, and my booking ratio exploded! I signed with an amazing agency, and started booking work at a national level. All because I stopped trying to be anyone else. I found MY voice.
Then I coached with someone else who said something very unkind to me that I haven’t been able to un-hear, even 3 years later. It hurt, and it made me question everything I had accomplished. At this point, I had all the confidence I needed and had even been nominated for four One Voice Awards, including Female Voice-Over Artist of the Year.
But one harsh criticism was enough to derail me completely.
This is because, while I had found my voice, I hadn’t developed enough confidence to truly own it. The minute someone questioned it, it all crumbled.
It took a long conversation with a great colleague, Paul Strikwerda, for me to realize that this unkind comment wasn’t my problem: I was. I had some insecurities that I had been burying, instead of acknowledging. That coach had scraped a wound that I didn’t even know was there and I was forced to take notice. To work again to understand who I am and how I contribute to the world around me.
This time I found peace through a different path. I began to give back. I started an online community with my friends Jen Greenfield and Jen Tophoney. The VO Booth Besties. We wanted to help voice actors connect and find strength through each other. It became very healing for me to contribute to our industry through podcast episodes full of actionable advice that could help voice actors grow. We’ve interviewed amazing coaches, producers, and casting directors, and provided a beautiful resource that continues to grow.
I also started a TikTok channel where I share things about my life, my career, my challenges, and how I’ve grown. This has been a wonderful type of voice-over therapy for me. Plus, it’s had a side benefit that I didn’t anticipate: the truth is that sometimes I still slide back into those same old cadences and patterns that are common amongst voice actors. I start to sound like everyone else. If I have two takes in a row that sound identical? I know that I probably sound like all the other auditions too.
Here’s where my TikTok account comes in handy. I don’t script or plan my content, I always just talk. Just me, and my thoughts and no agenda. So I pull up one of my videos and listen to myself for a few minutes. I’m my OWN inspiration now. And then I jump back into my audition script with a new understanding of who I am and what I sound like. Because why would I want to be anyone else?
So here’s a little advice from that little girl who has finally learned to embrace her voice. I’ve come to truly cherish my parents early guidance that I can be anything I want to be if I’m willing to work hard for it. As you step into the booth in your own career, I challenge you to find your own unique voice. Record yourself in a conversation with friends, or listen to a social media video where you truly felt free to express yourself. Stop trying to sound like you think you are “supposed” to sound. Strip away the doubts and insecurities and believe that you are enough, and then?
Listen to yourself. Truly listen. I’m confident you’ll like what you hear. And when you can truly connect with who you are, when you’re behind the microphone? Others will connect with that too – and that should be the ultimate goal.
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